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Having two moms

“Having two moms was never something I thought of as ‘strange’. My sister and I have two parents, it’s not like I ever call them ‘my lesbian moms’. We were lucky enough to grow up with two amazing, loving parents, who happen to be two females. But surprisingly, to some people, it’s often a bigger deal. We were made aware of this when we traveled together as a family. One of my first memories was when we were on a backpacking trip through South-East Asia and my parents used to tell  me strictly  “Don’t tell people Nicole is your mom, tell them she’s your aunt or neighbor instead.”‘WHY, was the only thing going through my 6-year-old mind but I just went with it and pretended. We had to do this often to avoid conflict, and in some cases even to even just be able to cross a country’s borders.

 Both my moms have experienced awful things because of their sexuality, way more than I have because of theirs, of course. It breaks my heart hearing about the many times they’ve had to deal with threats, insults, extreme disrespect, and sometimes even physical harassment. Gay men are even more likely to experience physical abuse, which is so wrong. The fact that this is still happening to so many LGBTQ+ people around the world - even in my hometown Amsterdam which is known as such a diverse and accepting city - frustrates and shocks me. Observing first-hand how people tend to react to gays and lesbians taught my sister and me an important lesson. It taught us to always defend those we love, to stand by minorities, and support the idea that diversity is essential. 

How boring would life be if we were all the same?

The truth is, I’m no different from others my age that grew up with heterosexual parents. I mean, we cook, play games, laugh and argue like any other family. There are people that learn about my lesbian parents and go “Huh? I never expected that...”. This is so funny to me and it makes me wonder; what do people imagine I would have to look like for it to be obvious that I have two moms? 

Love you mom, love you mom.”


- Renee, The Netherlands



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